Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
