Plan B is the new Plan A
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
