Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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