Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
