And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
