I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
