with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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