I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
