it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
