Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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