I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
