I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You pole danced in your parka.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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