and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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