i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
