woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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