dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
