I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
