is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
