piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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