I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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