6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
