That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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