guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
