i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
