You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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