Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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