I wanna passion pit in your ass
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
