He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
