So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
