OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
