I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
