Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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