I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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