Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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