Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
