I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
