half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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