I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
