i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
