belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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