You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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