No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
