she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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