Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Non-Jews are for practice
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
