Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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