You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
