Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize