yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
