Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
