he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
