are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
